The Book That Started It All

Much of the spiritual path seems to be about working through our human issues. I used to question this a lot — can’t we just go to the good part??  Angels, spirit guides, feeling connected to Source?

The short answer is no.  

You can do self-help without also exploring spirituality, but you can’t explore spirituality without doing self-help.

In essence, much of the work is about clearing our own stuff.  No one can do it for us.  Others will be triggers for us, but it’s truly our own responsibility.

“The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” by Debbie Ford had a huge impact on me in the early days.  It’s not a stretch to say this was the book that really started me on the path.

I’m sure you’ve heard the premise that we see in others what we have in ourselves.  Known as projection and/or shadow work, we all have our dark and light sides.  None of us will ever, ever, ever be perfect.

But we can become conscious. And this means becoming aware of our stuff. Releasing what densities we can, and being tender with ourselves for those that remain.

When your Soul is working through an issue with you, you can bet it’s going to keep bugging you until you see/understand the source.

I’ve spent years with this; apparently there were a lot of densities to work through. By this point, though, I don’t resist.  In fact, when I keep replaying something crappy that “someone else” has done, I know important information is in there somewhere and can become a little impatient wanting to get to it.

One important point: snarky things happen all the time—we get cut off on traffic, we receive an ugly email from a coworker, a guest makes a rude comment, etc. These are not the densities of shadow work/projection.  It’s the instances that deeply trigger you and you find yourself gnawing on them over and over again.

Second important point: when someone has done something that completely triggers you, you may well disagree with the premise that you’ve done the same thing and are only projecting onto the other person. This happens all the time.  But maybe there is something deep down in the reason the person has done it.  Maybe there is a similarity in their understanding of the situation (or the world), even if how you would handle it is different.  


Shadow work is a loaded phrase. Don’t be afraid of it, though. It’s actually a sign of Soul-level growth. Bigger picture-you were triggered because you’ve outgrown your former self and it’s time to evolve more.  How cool is that.

Above all else, be gentle and kind with yourself in the process.  You might be genuinely amazed at what emerges.