A Great Question to Ask When Considering Change

Image by Jordan Ladikos on Unsplash

A friend shared a question she was asked by someone else while considering a potential big change in her life.

The question was

“Does it expand or contract you?”


This is a GREAT question when we’re thinking about taking a different direction in our life.


Fear contracts us, it closes us down. Fear tactics are used in our society for this very reason; they make people feel small and unable to act.

Yes, there are certainly times to be cautious and/or judicious.  And (speaking first hand) fear can be a great motivator.  But if something new pops up and we freeze in fear, it might be an opportunity to see what else is there beyond the veil of fear.

Life is intended to be expansive.

In fact, you are here to be expansive—to grow into your creative, wise, experienced, very full, expanded Self.  


There is a direct correlation between the expansion of self through life and spiritual growth.  


You are hard wired to grow throughout the course of your life.  This means you’ll have experiences which you haven’t had before and won’t know what to do.  You can only have knowledge about that which you’ve already done.  This knowledge can help you navigate part of the transition, but it can also serve as a limitation. Sticking with what you know keeps you stuck.


Expansion means stepping into the unknown at times.  

Some people expand into the unknown without opening up to their spiritual nature. They are here for the win and push hard to move through the world, and can be overly aggressive and manipulative to get their way.

At the other end of the spectrum, there are those who give themselves over to whatever happens without a sense of self-direction or agency. As such, they can feel lost.


When we open up to our spiritual Selves, we come to understand that we are both spirit and human. We put effort into releasing the “shoulds" we’ve accumulated over the years from the outside that no longer reflect us.  And we seek to meet our inner spiritual side, the part of our Self that is there, in fact, to serve us while we are human.

Your core Self, the one you know who lives deep within, knows what’s going on with you and will always steer you in the right direction. ALWAYS.  


“Does it expand or contract you?” is one of its guiding questions.